So its a month and a half since the boy became the ex. Some days are really good, and I feel on top of the world and like I could do anything. Some days are pretty rubbish, but I have found that I have no tears left to cry. Even if I want to, i can't. Which is both frustrating and good at the same time. In these past few weeks, I have found that there are suddenly a million new rules about how you can and can not behave towards the ex:
No, you can not talk to them.
No, you must not show them how you really feel.
No, you can not tell them everything going round in your head, like I knew you'd end up doing this.
Don't cry, be strong.
WHAT??? You're going on a date....don't you think its a bit soon???
Well, no actually, I don't think its too bloody soon. So wait, let me get this straight?? Its wrong to moop about in my pjs, only getting out of bed for a ben and jerry's run, and generally looking like Bigfoot?? And, wait, its wrong to go out and meet new people, get your confidence up, start to feel attractive again?? Hasn't the Ex and That Relationship already taken up far too much of my important time??
To be honest, things with the Ex, well we're on speaking terms now. I do believe, no matter how foolish it might be, that we will be good friends in good time IF he makes the effort. I am still unsure about how we get past the whole cheating bit, but I'm working on it. Sometimes, it feels like we were never really together, mainly because I don't reeally recognise who I was then. Who i am now, well she's just so much more fun, and I can actually say that Yes I love who I am now. And that is worth 1 million quid in itself. Yes, its been shit, and it'll still be shit occassionaly with sleepless nights, and made up conversation and scenarios filling my head, but I do think he did me a massive favour, and one day, I will have to say ta very much!!!