Thursday, May 7, 2009

In the past few weeks, I have found myself asking, why do we always think that there is more, why do we always want something, bigger, better, different, or new? Why can't we ever see exactly what we have and just think, wow I am so lucky.

Last year when I was on holiday in Egypt, I met a guy who was working at the resort who was a windsurfing instructor. It was so refreshing to meet a man there, who was not interested in trying to chat me up or offer 4 thousand camels for my hand in marriage! Everyday we would ask, how are you, and his reply 'I'm ok, I'm alive!' At the time, Mum and I found this hilarious, we still laugh about it, but you know what, he is right, we should be thankful that we are alive, and that we have met the people that are in our lives.

Everyday I get out of bed, I go to the mirror and scrutinise every part of my body, instead I should stand there and think well thank goodness I have all my limbs for example. I am so fed up of this culture where everyone is striving towards an idea that is generally unrealistic. I will never be a size zero, and yet I can't let that go. I don't like my hair colour, I dye it, I want longer hair, I buy hair extensions. Hair that some poor girl has probably sold so she can eat for another week. Here in Athens, I walk along, wishing I was at home, and then I will pass a lady who is rummaging through the wheelie bin for food or clothing. Hows that for a cold and brutal reality check?

The thing that has really hit me while I have been living in Greece, is just how happy I was before I left. I thought I was bored, I didn't like the job, I wanted more, and yet when I finally got more, the thing I wanted most in the world was to go back to how life was before I left the UK. I am making a resolution to always take a proper look at all the things I have before ever making such a massive decision ever again.

And the most important thing, I think, is that you could be anywhere, with anyone, but as long as your happy, that's the key. I now know, I need to nearer my home, that I want to be back in my city, London, and to finally appreciate everything I have, and all the things to come all these exciting experiences, and to try to stop focusing on the negativity that surrounds us all.