Thursday, March 5, 2009

Episode 1 - The Spontaneous Undresser

I once went on a date with a friend I had known since high school, and to be honest, I had always had a bit of a crush on him. Let's call him Suitor 1. He was someone who I had done a few bits of drama with, and that all the girls fancied. I had a boyfriend at school so I wasn't that interested, but thought he was good looking and ever so charming. He had a variety of different hair colours, mostly sported a Sonic the Hedgehog do, and I am talking full on spikes!

So, every girl goes through a time when they feel they need a boost. Suitor 2, who you will get to hear more about another time, had decided to move on to another of the hotties in the office, and so I decided to see if Suitor 1 would like to meet for a date. I emphasize - A DATE. Some dinner, maybe some drinks, and then we could maybe see, if we had had fun, if another date would be on the cards.

We had agreed to meet in Waterloo Station. Admittedly I had been for a drink with my friend from work, Aussie Chick who Suitor 2 was busy chatting up. As I had had to sit across from them flirting at the pub opposite the office I was glad to make my get away. As I walked in to the Station, I looked around with bated breath to see if I could spy Sonic waiting for me. Sure enough there he was.

We decided to go to Pizza Express, which was very nice. Nice is a great word. It's not the best description for a date really is it. Being a mere media sales exec, money was causing me a few issues, and so had to go through mortifying experience of explain I hadn't got much money, my date said don't worry you can send me the money when you have it. So far, not so good. Pizza's down, what to do next?

Suitor 1 suggests we go back to my flat to watch a DVD. To which I agreed. Now, I actually meant to watch a DVD...he did not I later found out. Whilst watching 'Turner and Hooch' (of all the DVDs to choose from!!), Suitor 1 suddenly lunges at me, also know as kissing me, and within minutes has taken his shirt and is trying to get mine of as well. I didn't know what to do - should I just keep quiet, after all he did buy me a pizza??!! Or do I say actually don't really fancy you, you big headed fool, now get your paws off?

In the end, I went for a diplomatic 'I don't really want to rush anything'. Suitor 1, suddenly aware he is without shirt, says 'Yes, I'm just hot'. Now if I had been Suitor 1, I would have grabbed my shoes and made a run for it. Apparently, so badly did he want to see the end of film, that he stayed another hour, while I slowly died inside.

Suitor 1 will now be known by my friends forever more as 'The Spontaneous Undresser'.

No comments:

Post a Comment